Garbage carrying: Roof box is the car’s tumor

It goes like this. You pay 300 euros, you waddle with this thing when it gets delivered, trip over it in the garage, grime your clothes while installing it, and yell out the most horrible swear words the whole time. All this effort because you want to uglify your car, make the ride unsafe, add whistling sounds, limit the speed, increase fuel consumption, and publicly admit you’re a philistine and a hoarder.

Why would you do that? Apparently there are five reasons.

1. The roof box expands your vehicle’s storage without sacrificing interior space. Because you bought a Range Rover, a 2-meter-wide, 5-meter-long aircraft carrier and you don’t want anything in it.
2. Ideal for family vacations or weekend adventures. An oxymoron and a scheduled, schematic nothing.
3. It provides room for all your essential gear. Camping junk. Some people carry propane fire tanks in there, so that’s something to look for in your next head-on collision. Some sleep in it, I sleep you not.
4. Stylish, sleek, aerodynamic silhouette. Big repugnant boil on top of your car.
5. And hey. Hey! Do you have more stuff to carry around in case the world goes under? How about a towbar box. Extra space with easy access and flexibility. And extra worry, shame, and deathbed regrets.

Most proud owners carry these things on their cars all year round. When you ask them why, 100% of them answer: “I have no place to put it.”

There are many tells of a primitive, but the easiest one is that he wants to own a lot of things and carry as many of them with him at all times. When a nomad becomes a settler and ten generations later you still have that instinct, you’re a primitive and women will slither with you on the ski slopes and elsewhere.

But I have hopes for DROWSY BLOUSIE that she is one of the modern kind who rent their gear on-site.

When I learn someone has a roof box, I don’t disparage them. I don’t ride with them in their car (even when the box is off), I don’t exchange contact information and I don’t frequent places where I might meet them again. My world has shrunk considerably.